Q. Why did the Easter Bunny hide the egg?
A. Because it was a little chicken.
Q. What does the Easter Rabbit get for making a basket?
A. Two points just like everybody!
Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
A. Bugs Bunny
Q. What do you call a dumb bunny?A. A hare brain.
Q. What’s the best way to catch a unique rabbit?
A. You ‘nique up on him.
Q. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A. Tame way, unique up on it.
Q. How many hairs in a rabbit’s tail?
A. None, they’re all on the outside.
Top 10 Signs the Easter Bunny is Nuts
10. Neighbors describing him as “a quiet loner.”
9. Removed from a department store last December after screaming at Santa, “You’re going to die up there, fat man!”
8. Can’t stop washing his paws.
7. Colorful eggs now filled with Prozac.
6. Apartment walls covered with photos of Sharon Stone.
5. Met with Dr. Kevorkian about the possibility of a “suicide egg.”
4. Rotting corpse of Energizer bunny recently discovered in his crawl space.
3. Won’t come out of his compound in Waco, Texas.
2. He’s hippity-hopped up on crack.
1. Keeps rubbing himself for good luck.
Q. What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?A. A receding hareline.
Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Q. What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boyscout?
A. A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
Q. What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant?
A. An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
Q. How are rabbits like calculators?
A. They both multiply really fast.
Q. Why can’t a rabbit’s nose be twelve inches long?
A. Because then it would be a foot.
Q. How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
A. Just look for the gray hares.
Q. How do you know when you’re eating rabbit stew?
A. When it has hares in it.
Q. What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes?
A. A funny bunny.
Q. What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole?
A. Cold.
Q. What do rabbits have that nothing else in the world has?
A. Baby rabbits.
Q. What is a rabbit’s favorite dance?
A. The Bunny Hop of course.
Q. Waitress, what’s this hare doing in my soup?A. Looks like the back stroke.
Q. How do bunnies stay healthy?
A. Eggercise
Q. What do you cal a bunny with a dictionary in his pants?
A. A smarty pants.
Q. What would you call the Easter Bunny if he married a chicken?
A. The first Rabbit to lay and egg.
Q. What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. A Hot Cross bunny.
Q. What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider?
A. A harenet.
Q. What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat?
A. Thistle have to do!
Q. Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
A. It has 4 rabbits’ feet.
Q. How do you get letter to a bunny?
A. Hare mail.
Q. What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
A. One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!
Q. What do you get when you cross a bunny with an onion?
A. A bunion.
Q. What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?
A. A harenet.
Q. What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
A. Join the Hare Force.
Q. What goes ha-ha-clunk?
A. A bunny laughing its head off.
Q. How do you make a rabbit stew?
A. Make it wait for 3 hours!
Q. Where does a bunny go when it dies?
A. To the hare-after.
Q: Why are people always tired in April?
A: Because they just finished a march
Q: What do you call a very smart bunny?
A: An egghead.
Q: What do you call the Easter Bunny the Monday after Easter?
A: Tired.
Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
A: It’s been nice gnawing you.
Q: Why did a fellow rabbit say that the Easter Bunny was self-centered?
A: Because he is eggocentric. (egocentric)
Q: Where does Valentine’s Day comes after Easter?
A: In the dictionary.
Q: Do you know how bunnies stay in shape?
A: Hareobics.
Q: What’s the difference between a bunny and a lumberjack?
A: One chews and hops, the other hews and chops.
Q: How does the Easter Bunny say Happy Easter?
A: Hoppy Easter!
Q: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
A: He’d just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
Q. Why does the easter bunny have such a shiny nose?
A. His powder puff’s on the wrong end.
Q. What do you call it when a rabbit has an accident with a knife?
A. A hare cut.
Q. Why do rabbits do so well at school?
A. They’re experts at multiplication.
Q. What came first, the chicken or the egg?
A. Neither–the Easter Bunny!
Q. Where do Easter Bunnies go for new tails?
A. To the retail store.
Q. Do you know how to find the Easter bunny if he was lost?
A. Make a noise like a carrot; he’ll find you.
Knock,knock.
Who’s there?
Ether
Ether who?
Ether bunny.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Juan
Juan who?
Juan more ether bunny.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Stella
Stella who?
Stella nother ether bunny.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin other Ether Bunny.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Samoa
Samoa who?
Samoa Ether Bunnies.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Beryl
Beryl who?
Beryl of ether bunnies.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey
Dewey who?
Dewey have to listen to any more ether bunny jokes?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Consumption.
Consumption who?
Consumption be done about all these ether bunnies?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Cargo “beep, beep”…run over all the ether bunnies.
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry–all the Ether bunnies will be back again next year!”
Q. What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
A. 14 carrot gold.
Q. What kind of book does a rabbit like at bedtime?
A. One with a hoppy ending.
What Is Easter?
Three stupid guys just died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.St. Peter asks the first man, "WHAT IS EASTER?" The man replies, "Oh, that's easy, it's the holiday in November when everybody gets together, eats turkey, and is thankful...""WRONG," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second man the same question, "WHAT IS EASTER?"The second man replies, "No, Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."St. Peter looks at the second man, shakes his head in disgust, looks at the third man and asks, "WHAT IS EASTER?"The third man smiles and looks St. Pete in the eye."I know what Easter is. Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and He was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took Him to be crucified and was stabbed in the side, made Him wear a crown of thorns, and He was hung on a cross. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder. Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out, and if He sees his shadow there will be six more weeks of winter."
Read these amusing Easter jokes and celebrate the occasion.
Q: What are the secrets behind the fitness of the Easter Bunny?
A: EGG-xercise and HARE-robics!
* * * * * *
Q: How many Easter eggs can you put in an empty basket?
A: Only one. Ask why?
Q: Why?
A: Because after that it is not empty any more!
* * * * * *
Q: What score did the Easter Bunny give to the Easter Parade?
A: He rated it "Egg-cellent"!
* * * * * *
Q: What do you call Easter when you are hopping around?
A: Hoppy Easter!
* * * * * *
Q: How can you infer that bunnies have good eye sight?
A: Did you ever see a bunny wearing glasses?
* * * * * *
Q: What does a rooster say to a hen he likes?
A: You're one hot chick!
* * * * * *
A Pastor once said to a man "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
The man replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
"Is it?" the Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service. "
One Liners When one breeds an angora rabbit with an Easter Bunny is that a cross hair?
Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter.
Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Xmas.
Altzheimer's Advantage #2 :- You can hide your own Easter eggs.
Q. What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket?
A. Two points, just like anyone else.
Q. What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A. The Ether Bunny
Q. Why did the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
A. He doesn't want the other bunnies to know tht he was fooling around with the chickens.
Easter has been canceled folks. They found the body.
Do-It-Yourself Easter Kit: 2 boards, 3 nails, and a martyr!
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
"Ether"!
"Ether" who?
"Ether" Bunny! 
Question & Answers 1 Q: What do you call rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade?
A: Hot, cross bunnies.
Q: What do you call Easter when you are hopping around?
A: Hoppy Easter!
Q: What do you call a duck that just doesn't fit in?
A: Mallardjusted.
Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and the Easter Bunny?
A: A good Easter.
Q: What do you call a duck who plays basketball?
A: A slam duck.
Q: Why was the rabbit rubbing his head?
A: Because he had a eggache! (headache)
Q: How do bunnies stay healthy?
A: Eggercise
Q: What does a rooster say to a hen he likes?
A: Your one hot chick! Question & Answers 2 Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A: A receding hareline.
Q: What do ducks have for lunch?
A: Soup and quackers!
Q: Why did the rabbit cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken's day off.
Q: What do you call a bunny with a dictionary in his pants?
A: A smarty pants.
Q: What do you call a bunny with a large brain?
A: An egghead.
Q: What would you call the Easter Bunny if he married a chicken?
A: The very first rabbit to lay an egg!
Q: Why are people always tired in April?
A: Because they just finished a march
Q: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
A: He'd just washed his hare and couldn't do a thing with it. Question & Answers 3 Q: How do you catch a unique bunny?
A: Unique up on it!!
Q: Why did the Easter egg hide?
A: He was a little chicken!
Q: What's the difference between a bunny and a lumberjack?
A: One chews and hops, the other hews and chops.
Q: What do you call the Easter Bunny after a hard day's work?
A: Tired.
Q: Why did the Easter Bunny hop down the road?
A: He was making the movie.
Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
A: It's been nice gnawing at you.
Q: What did the bunny put over his sore?
A: A eggage.
Q: Why did a fellow rabbit say that the Easter Bunny was self-centered?
A: Because he is eggocentric. The Rules Of Chocolates If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal.
It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because no one wants to quit.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.
HAPPY EASTER !!! Signs the Easter Bunny is Nuts 10. Neighbors describing him as "a quiet loner."
9. Removed from a department store last December after screaming at Santa, "You're going to die up there, fat man!"
8. Can't stop washing his paws.
7. Colorful eggs now filled with Prozac.
6. Apartment walls covered with photos of Sharon Stone.
5. Met with Dr. Kevorkian about the possibility of a "suicide egg."
4. Rotting corpse of Energizer bunny recently discovered in his crawl space.
3. Won't come out of his compound in Waco, Texas.
2. He's hippity-hopped up on crack.
1. Keeps rubbing himself for good luck Why the Easter Bunny Brings Eggs 10. Big tax write-off.
9. Who ever heard of Easter Bricks?
8. Consider all of the varieties: scrambled, over easy, hard boiled.
7. He gets a good deal from the local chickens.
6. Secret plan to eliminate human race by cholesterol overdose.
5. Pressure from the Egg Marketing Board.
4. Because if it brought bottle rockets it would be the Independence Bunny. Top Ten Reasons to Celebrate Easter 10. You absolutely love the movie, "The Ten Commandments".
9. You look really, really good in yellow.
8. You just went on a low cholesterol diet and didn't want to waste all those eggs in the fridge.
7. You figure any Holiday that starts with a "Good Friday" can't be all bad.
6. You love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies.
5. It's a good time to check out your neighborhood church and not be noticed.
4. You have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason.
3. Even though you don't know what it is, you really like the sound of going to a "Passion Play."
2. You figured since Jesus went to all THAT trouble to make it to the first Easter, you'd give it a shot.
1. As a Christian you celebrate the resurrection every other day, why not Easter too?
Read these amusing Easter jokes and celebrate the occasion.
Q: What are the secrets behind the fitness of the Easter Bunny?
A: EGG-xercise and HARE-robics!
* * * * * *
Q: How many Easter eggs can you put in an empty basket?
A: Only one. Ask why?
Q: Why?
A: Because after that it is not empty any more!
* * * * * *
Q: What score did the Easter Bunny give to the Easter Parade?
A: He rated it "Egg-cellent"!
* * * * * *
Q: What do you call Easter when you are hopping around?
A: Hoppy Easter!
* * * * * *
Q: How can you infer that bunnies have good eye sight?
A: Did you ever see a bunny wearing glasses?
* * * * * *
Q: What does a rooster say to a hen he likes?
A: You're one hot chick!
* * * * * *
A Pastor once said to a man "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
The man replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
"Is it?" the Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service. "
| One Liners | |
| When one breeds an angora rabbit with an Easter Bunny is that a cross hair? Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter. Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Xmas. Altzheimer's Advantage #2 :- You can hide your own Easter eggs. Q. What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket? A. Two points, just like anyone else. Q. What's invisible and smells like carrots? A. The Ether Bunny Q. Why did the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A. He doesn't want the other bunnies to know tht he was fooling around with the chickens. Easter has been canceled folks. They found the body. Do-It-Yourself Easter Kit: 2 boards, 3 nails, and a martyr! Knock, knock... Who's there? "Ether"! "Ether" who? "Ether" Bunny! | |
| Question & Answers 1 |
| Q: What do you call rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade? A: Hot, cross bunnies. Q: What do you call Easter when you are hopping around? A: Hoppy Easter! Q: What do you call a duck that just doesn't fit in? A: Mallardjusted. Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and the Easter Bunny? A: A good Easter. Q: What do you call a duck who plays basketball? A: A slam duck. Q: Why was the rabbit rubbing his head? A: Because he had a eggache! (headache) Q: How do bunnies stay healthy? A: Eggercise Q: What does a rooster say to a hen he likes? A: Your one hot chick! | |
| Question & Answers 2 |
| Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards? A: A receding hareline. Q: What do ducks have for lunch? A: Soup and quackers! Q: Why did the rabbit cross the road? A: Because it was the chicken's day off. Q: What do you call a bunny with a dictionary in his pants? A: A smarty pants. Q: What do you call a bunny with a large brain? A: An egghead. Q: What would you call the Easter Bunny if he married a chicken? A: The very first rabbit to lay an egg! Q: Why are people always tired in April? A: Because they just finished a march Q: Why did the magician have to cancel his show? A: He'd just washed his hare and couldn't do a thing with it. | |
| Question & Answers 3 |
| Q: How do you catch a unique bunny? A: Unique up on it!! Q: Why did the Easter egg hide? A: He was a little chicken! Q: What's the difference between a bunny and a lumberjack? A: One chews and hops, the other hews and chops. Q: What do you call the Easter Bunny after a hard day's work? A: Tired. Q: Why did the Easter Bunny hop down the road? A: He was making the movie. Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot? A: It's been nice gnawing at you. Q: What did the bunny put over his sore? A: A eggage. Q: Why did a fellow rabbit say that the Easter Bunny was self-centered? A: Because he is eggocentric. | |
| The Rules Of Chocolates |
| If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy? If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you? If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. Money talks. Chocolate sings. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Because no one wants to quit. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake. HAPPY EASTER !!! | |
| Signs the Easter Bunny is Nuts |
| 10. Neighbors describing him as "a quiet loner." 9. Removed from a department store last December after screaming at Santa, "You're going to die up there, fat man!" 8. Can't stop washing his paws. 7. Colorful eggs now filled with Prozac. 6. Apartment walls covered with photos of Sharon Stone. 5. Met with Dr. Kevorkian about the possibility of a "suicide egg." 4. Rotting corpse of Energizer bunny recently discovered in his crawl space. 3. Won't come out of his compound in Waco, Texas. 2. He's hippity-hopped up on crack. 1. Keeps rubbing himself for good luck | |
| Why the Easter Bunny Brings Eggs |
| 10. Big tax write-off. 9. Who ever heard of Easter Bricks? 8. Consider all of the varieties: scrambled, over easy, hard boiled. 7. He gets a good deal from the local chickens. 6. Secret plan to eliminate human race by cholesterol overdose. 5. Pressure from the Egg Marketing Board. 4. Because if it brought bottle rockets it would be the Independence Bunny. | |
| Top Ten Reasons to Celebrate Easter |
| 10. You absolutely love the movie, "The Ten Commandments". 9. You look really, really good in yellow. 8. You just went on a low cholesterol diet and didn't want to waste all those eggs in the fridge. 7. You figure any Holiday that starts with a "Good Friday" can't be all bad. 6. You love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies. 5. It's a good time to check out your neighborhood church and not be noticed. 4. You have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason. 3. Even though you don't know what it is, you really like the sound of going to a "Passion Play." 2. You figured since Jesus went to all THAT trouble to make it to the first Easter, you'd give it a shot. 1. As a Christian you celebrate the resurrection every other day, why not Easter too? | |
